All about the single life in Seattle

2:54 AM!  I just kicked the last guy out of the house.  Of course prior to kicking him out my two girls and I watched him masturbate and he came on my boobs.  Whew….long night….let me get you there…

First, the Mr went home today.  We had a really great time together and I love him so much!! 

LBC has a girlfriend visiting from her home town.  I’ll call her OOT (for out of town).  OOT is a sexy blond with crazy big tits.  I drive over to LBC’s house to pick up the girls because they are going to stay the night at my house in the city (parking is a bitch down here).  We all kiss Fiance good-bye and we’re ready to start some trouble!!  As soon as we get in the car LBC is making road sodas with bacardi and diet.  I’ve said it before.  I like her style.  I decide to kick it up a notch by taking my sweatshirt off and driving in my pink bra.  We’re driving on the freeway and not getting much reaction but as soon as we pulled into the city we got noticed.  I would pull up next to a car and ask…excuse me, may I show you my left breast?  Hilarious.  Guys did not know how to react at first.  It was just a fun little way to get the party started.  I really wanted OOT to enjoy her visit.  I did end up meeting a real cutie in a business suit, driving a Range Rover that lives in my area.  He was flying down to Orange County tonight but we did exchange phone numbers.  BTW all of this exchange took place while driving down 4th Avenue which is currently under construction with 20 confusing lane changes!!  He’s cute.  I hope we get together when he returns.

We get to my place and get ready.  I loved that part.  We opened some wine and turned it on Jack FM and it felt like we were on vacation.  LBC and I did OOT’s hair and makeup.  She’s a cutie but a little more conservative with the makeup (although completely comfortable with the titties out) and we wanted to give her a more wild look for the night.  We grabbed a cab and headed down to the Tap House Grill.  I told the cab driver we were out of town so we were looking to get CrAzY.  We had a really good time just joking with the cab driver.

We finally arrived around 8pm, which was the only bummer of the night – there was a happy hour meetup which was scheduled to start at 5:30 so we were pretty late.  Oh well, there was still a decent size crowd and we had a hard enough time getting a chance to meet everyone.  I joked that I want to give a 3 minute time limit but there is a little part of me that is serious.  I wore a tight gold sweater dress that absolutely showed the curves.  You know I just saw something late one night (maybe on Discovery channel??) about how men instinctively respond to a small waist and big hips and ass.  I like this guys blog about it too – maybe bookmark that for later.

It’s hard for me to explain without sounding either completely full of myself or bitchy but we were on fire tonight.  First, the plan had been to go to the Seattle chapter of DIFFA (Design Industries Foundation Fighting AIDS).  Their event tonight was a fundraiser called “GLAM: A Celebration of High Style Design” so we dressed up.  We couldn’t get out of the darn Tap House – there were so many men.  I love men!!  We really did have fun!  Honestly we met way more men than we could handle but I did my best to juggle.  We ended up bringing five select winners back to my house.  There were three winners that I wanted and for various reasons that did not make it to the final round (they left earlier in the evening) but I have their information for a flirty follow up.  We stopped at Belltown Pizza…just sliding in at 1am for a slice each (to go) and ended up grabbing lucky guy #6 because I initially liked his style.  He ended up being the first one I kicked out!

Of course six men was just way too much.  First, the volume kept getting louder with those deep voices.  I tried to explain that it was a fucking WORK night and to SHUT THE HELL UP!!  I broke out a bottle of Patron and we started doing shots.  LBC and I conveniently poured ours back in the bottle when no one was paying attention.  Thanks but no thanks.  I hate tequila.  I slowly had to thin out the sausage fest.  Of course there was a front runner that got my attention….a guy that claimed he could fix my website.  Now you know I’ve been saying I’ll pay in lap dance, phone sex, blow job, whatever – just fix my stuff.  Well I think I’ve found a taker.  We’ll see.  The guy could be full of shit but he could be thinking the same about me.  Of course he’s married and lives in another town (go figure) but he’s here on business for a few weeks at the Sheraton.  We’ll see how it goes.  He’s supposed to play tourists with us tomorrow.  We’ll see what time we drag our asses out of bed!!

There was one guy that was just a little bit ’silly’, for lack of a better word.  Initially I asked if he was high.  He was a little more quiet, very happy, and just sweet as could be.   Well at one point I was surrounded by guys and realized my bitches had gone to bed…oh no you don’t!!  Turned out “Silly” was in bed with them.  Funny!  So the second guy to get kicked out was this annoying bastard that kept asking Silly if he was gay.  If you’re ballsy enough to ask once, fine but do not repeat the question if you didn’t get the answer you wanted.  It struck a nerve with me.  Remember I was a fat kid so I’m real sensitive to people getting picked on or made to feel uncomfortable in any way.  I absolutely will not tolerate that shit from a guest in my house either!!

Mr Married from the Sheraton (MMS? works for me!) kinda pulls me aside and we have a little flirty exchange.  We did this at the bar earlier.  I like it.  He wants to kiss me, I can tell but I kinda like that he didn’t go for it.  I’m not a fan of a makeout on a first meet.  He asks if I want everyone out and I do.  I’m done with house guests for the night; lets get this group a little more intimate.  He was very sweet the way he rounded the boys up and kicked them out.  If he can truly help with the site then we could have a connection. 

I asked Silly to hang back for a second.  My protective side didn’t want him to ride in the elevator with the other guys and I thought he would be fun to stay and play a little bit.  I asked him if he would be willing to masturbate for us and he agreed.  I let him feel my boobs; he kept saying he didn’t believe they were fake which should probably be flattering but it was making me crazy!!  We dimmed the lights a little, put on some music, and brought out the lotion.  I took my dress off and had on a pair of spanx (I affectionately call it my ’suck it in’) and a Vickie Secret push up bra. Got a visual?  Hilarious right?!  So I give him a quick little lap dance to start the fire burning and he finished the job.  He was hilarious.  He asked me if he could cum on my boobs and I agreed.  He wanted me to take off my suck it in (who can blame the guy….NOT sexy) but I politely declined.  Sorry dude. 

Silly was nice enough to allow us to take photos of him while performing….as long as we wouldn’t shot his face because he’s a TEACHER.  As Christina Aguilara says… keeps gettin’ better!!

He finished up in great time, I immediately jumped in the shower, and he got dressed and got the hell out.  It was great.  The girls had never received a show like that before so that was fun.  No surprise, I have (OGD, you know who you are!!). 

So there’s Thursday night folks.  Good times and no one got hurt.  We will parade around the city tomorrow, making plenty of new friends  I’m sure.  Enjoy your weekend and hey, thanks for reading!!  If you enjoy tell a friend!!  I appreciate you!!

XOXO, MakesNooSense

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